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Young Testing Stepmommy’s Vibrator .Next, it’s important to sit down with your ex-husband and discuss areas of conflict. You should be clear about what you expect from your ex-husband regarding the kids, and listen to what he has to say. Don’t try to control your ex-husband’s house or the stepmother’s behavior around the children. It’s important to communicate clearly about the issues that affect your children, but don’t let yourself get too upset. You can’t make your ex-husband’s house or your children’s stepmother, so don’t try to control their house.